30 Days of MD: The Things People Don’t Tell You

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by BNS Staff |

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Photo courtesy of Zee Zelinski

Day 30 of 30

This is Zee Zelinski’s (@the.beautiful.gods) story:

There are things no one tells you after receiving a diagnosis.

No one could have possibly prepared you for what you’re about to go through. This was not your fault. Feel the rage, the anger, the quiet melancholic humming. It’s okay. You do not have to put on a brave face.

Sometimes, acceptance looks a lot like grief. Sometimes grief is an ocean, but I promise, you’ll learn to float.

You will be tested. A lot will change. You might not recognize yourself at times, but I swear, you’re still in there. You’re going to learn how to hold your own hands and how to sit with the emptiness of goodbyes. You’re going to come out the other side more compassionate and more human than you ever imagined.

There will be times when you feel like you’re at the end of your rope when you wake up and cannot find a trace of hope. Some days are just really going to suck.

Please, don’t give up. I know this feels like it’s way too much for one person to handle all alone. You’re not alone, you know.

If the bathroom stalls are the only ones to hear your cries, that’s okay. This takes some time.

My beautiful darling you, who deserve the world and more, I promise even when you feel like you cannot fight or find the light at the end of the night, everything you touch will be all right.

“they say that sometimes, a controlled burn is necessary for regrowth

i tell them,
i am already the ocean—
what more do you want of me?”

— poetry by Zee Zelinski


Note: Zee Zelinski is a writer and digital artist living in Seattle, Washington.

Muscular Dystrophy News’ 30 Days of MD campaign will publish one story per day for MD Awareness Month in September. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more stories like this, using the hashtag #30DaysofMD, or read the full series.