Viewing 5 reply threads
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    Posts
    • #17253
      Leah Leilani
      Keymaster

      Disabled is not a bad word and neither is it a bad thing to be disabled but, for decades people have believed and internalized the myth that it is. I have experienced this ableistic perspective first hand, even in places where I should feel the most accepted such as at church or at a hospital clinic. The one thing that I think is more disturbing than having someone pray for my healing without permission, is when I get asked the question “what’s wrong with you?” As if I need fixing. Have you had interactions with people who thought you were a broken record because of your disability?

    • #17255
      Larry
      Participant

      There is a certain stigma though. My partner at times thinks I am just being lazy. That if I tried harder that everything would be much better.

    • #17258
      Leah Leilani
      Keymaster

      Larry, have you been able to talk to them about this and how that’s not the case at all as well as how it makes you feel when they make this remark? I find that sitting down with someone and explaining the situation and my emotions is far better than tolerating something.

      • #17262
        Larry
        Participant

        I have talked to them. Does not appear to make any difference.

    • #17281
      Leah Leilani
      Keymaster

      Then it seems to me like the only other option is to shut them down if they make this comment again. Let them know that it’s your body and that Laziness is clearly not the problem and that you don’t wish to discuss the matter further. Stand your ground.

    • #17284
      Tracy Myall
      Participant

      I sometimes don’t think people understand that I am disabled because I am still walking without the aid of a cane or walker. They don’t understand how fatigued I get just by doing normal things or walking too much. It’s really hard to explain to people. I just don’t think they get it because they don’t see a visible disability.

      • #17291
        Leah Leilani
        Keymaster

        Tracy, have you heard of The Spoon Theory before? If not, I suggest looking it up either on Google or Youtube. It simplifies the concept of energy and fatigue in a way that people understand. I use it all the time when meeting new people. I know the struggle of not only being judged because you look fine but also trying to get people to grasp what energy is how it helps the body function. I hope this has been helpful.

    • #17287
      Karl Evans
      Participant

      Disability is not something that should place a value or grade on a person’s life. It is just like racism, or other such crap. I have dozens of genes and stuff which I have no control over, yet there are many people who refuse to accept me. That is especially true in church, in politics, in romance, in industry. My MD is no more or less damaging to my reality than the color of my skin, or the fact that my dilated cardiomyopathy might kill me before this email spreads around the globe.  But, I guess every person has a right to be stupid.

      • #17292
        Leah Leilani
        Keymaster

        Karl, I have a hard time agreeing that people have a right to be stupid these days. With knowledge at our fingertips, it’s so easy to put some time and effort into being educated on societal matters. I think the problem is that a lot of people aren’t open minded enough to do that. It’s sad really.

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