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Feeling left behind: Friendships
When friends get into relationships, married, or start a family, I sometimes feel left behind. The dynamic of the relationship changes without me having a say. It feels like just another thing that is out of my control and I need to just accept. The feeling that is left behind can be a hurtful one. I don’t know if certain relationships are more important than others (i.e. best friends vs significant others),I do know that the process of them changing can be sad and painful. It is hard to feel left behind or put on the back burner as some say, one way to keep things going is to let the person know that you are thinking of them.
Some say true friends will make time for you, that they won’t put you on the back burner. what do you think? Have you been left behind by friends? What are some ways that you maintain friendships with people who have gotten married or had kids? Do you think friends that leave you behind have no concept of balance? Do you expect them to be as available as before or do you understand things change? How do your friends make time for you or vice versa?
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2 Replies
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Hello Dani,
I think feeling left behind is somehow hard for us. Actually I do have a lot of friends and some of them are in an open relationship, I understand that they should be in love but when they leave you alone, the idea of negligence will come to your mind. What I’m used to do in such a situation is to accept the fact that the others must live their lives as they want. Therefore, they should not be gone for a long time period.
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Amine,
I think it’s easy for people to get lost in a romantic relationship and lose contact with their friends, although that isn’t an excuse to do so. Shooting out an occasional text to them to say hi and catch up may be the push they need to remind them of your presence in their life and may turn out to be with it.
Most of my friends are in college and we don’t get to talk as much as we used to. I do feel a disconnect because they’re doing things I’m not. But I think it’s normal to go through these quiet times with friends and then when your lives are more settled, you can then reconnect and have more time to spend with each other.
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