The holiday season makes me regret not making my kids do chores
'Tis the month before Christmas and this mom is already wiped out
The holiday season is upon us, and I am already exhausted. I’m well aware of everything I need to do in December, so being this tired already isn’t great. It makes me think about the opening lines of “The Night Before Christmas”: “Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.”
If that’s true, if every creature was sleeping — even the mom — I think it’s because she is completely exhausted from everything she has accomplished to ensure that Christmas morning will be memorable for her family. Everyone is sleeping soundly because they know Mom did everything.
Other times, I think that line is a crock. There is no way the mom is sleeping.
If she is like me, she still has lists running through her head of things she needs to do. What time do I need to start making coffee and coffee cake? What time do I need to wake up my husband to start getting the boys out of bed before the little one tears into her presents?
The chore charts fell by the wayside
This must read like the ranting of a stressed-out mom. I am!
I’m a mom to a large family. My husband, Jason, and I have seven children: Lexi, 24; Max, 20; Chance, 18; Rowen, 16; Charlie, 14; Mary, 11; and Callie, 3. Max, Rowen, and Charlie all live with Duchenne muscular dystrophy (DMD).
My exhaustion is my own fault. For starters, I am a little nutty about Christmas décor. I start in mid-November, and before I begin decorating, I need about a week to paint the walls, replace the light fixtures, and move furniture to get the house ready. Once I retrieve the holiday totes from storage, it takes me a week to get everything set up.
All the extra effort I put into making the house look festive is on me. Although the kids have come to expect it, I think they’d be just as happy with a tree, stockings, and some cookies.
I’ll also admit that this week, as I’ve been raking leaves, keeping up with laundry, grocery shopping, and cleaning bathrooms, I’ve come to regret that my children don’t do chores.
It wasn’t always like that. When our oldest daughter was in elementary school, we had a chore chart, and she helped clear the dinner table and unload the dishwasher. During that time, however, her younger brothers were diagnosed with Duchenne.
We kept the chore chart for a couple of years, and when the boys were little, they could help put toys away and even unload the dishwasher. But as they grew older and weaker, we didn’t make them help, and I didn’t have the heart to make their siblings continue doing it for them, either.
Besides, I didn’t mind doing the little chores they had helped with because it kept my mind off Duchenne. The siblings had helped with Max, Rowen, and Charlie so much that I felt they’d done enough.
I still feel that way. But what has changed is the amount of help Max, Rowen, and Charlie now need. As a caregiver, I’m constantly doing things to help my sons, which leaves little time for housework. As a result, I often just do the bare minimum — making sure we have clean dishes, clean clothes, and the floors are picked up.
The heavy cleaning is a struggle, and I find myself wishing the kids living at home could help with the little chores so I had more time for the big ones. And during this time of year, when I am doing extra cooking, shopping, cleaning, and decorating, it would be so helpful. It sometimes feels like the kids who don’t have Duchenne MD sit and relax while I’m hustling from one boy to the next, doing chores in between.
I’ve seen my kids jump into action to help others and their brothers, and they are always getting caught doing the right thing. But around the house, they don’t seem to see the work I put in, or perhaps they must think I can do it all.
It’s enough to make me wish I’d made the siblings continue helping around the house.
Note: Muscular Dystrophy News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Muscular Dystrophy News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to muscular dystrophy.
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