Celebrating a long-in-the-works family music songfest

I’m a musician, and so are my brothers, Ron and Tim. We’ve all played professionally, but it’s been a long time since we’ve played together. That changed last month, but let me explain why it was such an event.

Back in the late ’70s we were part of the Frank Kalik Orchestra, a Polka Hall of Fame group based in Pittsburgh that did some great music. Looking for something different, I left the polka band to join a Top 40 group. A couple of years later, the three of us reunited to form Sagebrush, a country band.

In 1981, though, I began teaching special education in the Rockwood Area School District, part of the Laurel Highlands area of southwestern Pennsylvania. At that point, I was too many miles away from my brothers to continue with Sagebrush. Ron and Tim kept it going for a decade. They’ve since returned to German music and now play at the Hofbräuhaus Pittsburgh, a German restaurant.

Meanwhile, I played with a number of music groups through the ’80s until a drunk driver crashed into my car, rendering me blind and otherwise injured. That phase of my music career was then over.

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After a lengthy recovery process, I played for church services and a children’s choir. I also helped start Apostles Creed, a contemporary Christian group that played local festivals in addition to church services. At the same time, I began playing at nursing homes, personal care homes, and senior citizen centers. I’ll continue to do that for as long as my health allows.

Since my wife, Wendy, and I moved to Pittsburgh years ago, I’ve been playing at my mom’s nursing home once a month. When I started, I invited my brothers, my sisters-in-law, my kids, my nieces, and my nephews to join in. Most of my family is musical. I envisioned a kind of jam session, with everybody singing a song or two, playing an instrument, doing a dance, or, in the case of our younger grandkids, just making noise and looking cute.

With everybody’s busy schedules, the big jam sessions haven’t worked out as I’d envisioned. Most of the time, it’s just me doing my usual sing-along set, with Wendy and Jill, my daughter, lending their voices to help.

A personal and musical celebration

A couple weeks ago, however, everyone’s schedules aligned, and my brother Ron; his wife, Judy; my brother Tim; and his wife, Diane, were all able to join Wendy and me at Mom’s care facility.

Instead of playing my usual nursing home set, I began playing some of the music Tim, Ron, and I had done years ago when we played together. It was like riding a bike. The old tunes came right back to us. I started singing. Tim and Ron joined in. Diane and Judy are both excellent singers, and I soon heard them singing along as well.

Diane sat close to Mom so she could see her clearly. We were all surprised when Mom began singing with us. She was always a dancer, not a singer, so when we broke into a polka, Wendy had Mom moving her feet and “dancing” in her seat!

The other residents recognized a party when they saw one. Everybody started singing along. Soon we had requests for old-time classics, including “As Time Goes By.” Staff members passing through the dining room were smiling and dancing as they went about their work. A couple even sat down for a few minutes to join us.

I tire out easily these days, as my facioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy (FSHD) takes its toll on my body. I’m usually in pain by the end of a set. I was surprised when Wendy told me an hour had passed, and it was time to wrap up the music. Somehow, the joy of playing music with my family had made the time go by quickly and I was feeling more joy than pain.

We wrapped up with a medley of “Show Me the Way to Go Home,” “Happy Trails,” and “Good Night Sweetheart.”

After Wendy assisted me in getting to the bathroom, we returned to the dining room to say our goodbyes to Mom. She was still smiling and told me it seemed like a long time since we’d had such a songfest and that we should do it more often. I couldn’t agree more.

Life in a nursing home can be difficult. I felt blessed to bring Mom and the other residents an hour of joy. I always feel blessed when I get out to play music, but it was so much better to play with Ron, Judy, Tim, Diane, Wendy, and, of course, Mom.

Some might call this event, and this column, living in the past. I prefer to think of it as celebrating the past, while enjoying the present and anticipating the future. I’ll keep the music, joy, and blessings flowing as long as possible!

Note: Muscular Dystrophy News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Muscular Dystrophy News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to muscular dystrophy.